“Today is your bris. Am I doing the right thing? My innocent Isaac: Why do Jewish men need to do this, before accepting a male child into their protective custody? . . .
“Today, blood will flow from the sweetest and tiniest of penises—yours. And I, your mother, will stand by and do nothing to prevent it. I have agreed to it. Your father’s desire to do this is so strong, I dare not deny him. Baby: Forgive me . . .
“Today, thirteen women gather in your honor to bless you.
“8:30 AM: We’ve laid out the honey cakes, the fresh bagels. There’s sweet wine and harsh, golden whiskey. There’s soft white cheese. A mound of bright green olives. Oranges, chocolates, hot coffee.
“9:30 AM: The women come in, cheeks glowing, eyes filled with love . . .
“The rabbi holds the wine aloft, recites the ritual blessing. The men turn white. Frances is poised to spring at the rabbi. Miriam moves to hold my hand. Your father’s fists are clenched. My face is turned away.
“It’s over! The rabbi makes a speech in English. My mother weeps and smiles. Your uncles hold you.
“Time for the Women’s Ceremony. We go into my study. We sit in a circle on the floor, on large pillows: godmothers, all.
“The women will bless you, each in her own voice, each with her own wish. The room is filled with flowers: roses, anemones. I’ve laid out candles and matches. Miriam holds you. The men watch. Some stop, voluntarily, at the door. Your father joins us.
“Miriam begins. She lights one of the candles.
“’Women. Let us each, in turn, light a candle for Ariel. Let us bless him with a wish. Let us each give him something of ourselves—a strand of hair, a nail, growing. I’ll paste it down for you in this little Book of Life. To seal the wish . . .’
“’May you never know any more pain than you’ve known today.’
“’May you never be as lonely as I’ve been. May you have strong friendships.’
“’May your parents have the courage to allow you to be yourself. May they love you for it.’
“’Good health.’
“’Long life.’
“’May you be blessed by women all your life, as you are today.’
“’I wish you playfulness. And laughter.’
“’I bless you with musical talent.’
“’Never turn away from your mother. May you know her as we do. I bless you—and her—in lifelong friendship together.’
“’May you love and be loved by your father. May you be blessed by his sensitivity and his gentleness.’
“’I hope you have the courage to be the child of feminists. The strength to be ‘different.’ I bless you with trusting your own instincts.’
“’I bless you with luck. May you be lucky.’
“’May you honor women in your life, as we honor you today.’
Ariel: Are you listening? You’re so quiet in Miriam’s arms, on Frances’s lap. You know, we should be naked, garlanded. We should each kiss you on every part, every limb. We should spend the day reclining, eating. Telling stories. But it’s perfect this way too. Just as it is.” [January 13, 1978]
Phyllis Chester – With Child: A Diary of Motherhood
|